DNF: JLA Book Review (My Best Review)

This is quite shocking to me.

I can't believe that there's a JLA book that I don't like.

What book is it?!?!?!

It's...

Wicked (A Wicked Saga #1)

Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout

Publish Date: December 8, 2014

Publisher: Jennifer (Self Published)

     Things are about to get Wicked in New Orleans.
     Twenty-two year old Ivy Morgan isn’t your average college student. She, and others like her, know humans aren’t the only thing trolling the French Quarter for fun… and for food. Her duty to the Order is her life. After all, four years ago, she lost everything at the hands of the creatures she’d sworn to hunt, tearing her world and her heart apart.
     Ren Owens is the last person Ivy expected to enter her rigidly controlled life. He’s six feet and three inches of temptation and swoon-inducing charm. With forest-green eyes and a smile that’s surely left a stream of broken hearts in its wake, he has an uncanny, almost unnatural ability to make her yearn for everything he has to offer. But letting him in is as dangerous as hunting the cold-blooded killers stalking the streets. Losing the boy she loved once before had nearly destroyed her, but the sparking tension that grows between them becomes impossible for Ivy to deny. Deep down, she wants… she needs more than what her duty demands of her, what her past has shaped for her.
     But as Ivy grows closer to Ren, she realizes she’s not the only one carrying secrets that could shatter the frail bond between them. There’s something he’s not telling her, and one thing is for certain. She’s no longer sure what is more dangerous to her—the ancient beings threatening to take over the town or the man demanding to lay claim to her heart and her soul. 

     DNF @ 40%
     You know how sometimes you read a really good book and you ignore everything going on? Well, that's me with most JLA books. If I'm reading a good JLA book and you flash a picture of Zac Efron SHIRTLESS, I wouldn't bat an eyelash. But, Wicked did not captivate my attention. When a clothed Zac Efron appeared on TV, I tossed Wicked to the side and jumped at the opportunity to look at Zac Efron CLOTHED.

     Do you see my feelings for this book after that? Do you understand what my reading experience was like?
     I honestly wanted to finish this book to see if my theory was right, but it was shot down in the book. I still stand by it.
     I should have reread the synopsis and evaluated my choices. I mean, most of that synopsis is about the guy and his hot looks, but little to none of the synopsis was about the plot.
     I read a review from a goodreads user-Natalie (Never Trust A Duck)- and I could not agree with her more!
     The writing really was juvenile. It was not like her other books. Her other books were very toned down-sex wise. This book really turned up the heat, even when there wasn't sexy time (mundane things were overly sexual.) It was like a 16-year-old girl, in heat, writing fanfiction (M rated about hot guys.)
     This book did not have JLA's usual easy going and truly humorous comedic flair. The user pointed out that the humor was really forced and it's so true. I did not make me LML (Laugh Mad Loud) or LOL (Laugh Out Loud.) It wasn't funny.
     I think I have pointed this out on more than one occasion, but here I go again. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT! SEEN IT!

     Honestly, I am so done. I don't even know why I keep reading these books. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. THEY ARE PREDICTABLE. 

     It's a JLA book, we're bound to meet a hot, douchey, arrogant, promiscuous, sexual guy. Then, they fall in love. But, the girl doesn't like him in the beginning. He teases her. She slaps him. He grabs her wrist. They make out. They love each other. *singing this in my Phantom of the Opera voice, slowly* The hot guy package also comes with tattoos and/or an obsession with Disney. Just pay with your time and your soul!

     How many books are like that? A LOT.

     Okay, to the inner dialogue. I loved Layla's inner dialogue in The Dark Elements. I thought it was relatable, raw, honest, and intriguing with her "warring"/conflicting emotions. But, Ivy was pretty boring. She was always talking about how hot Ren was, how much she misses Shaun, and she doesn't even realize it. Layla acknowledges that she isn't doing anything and does something about it. Layla takes action!

     I'm going to leave this review on a positive note and say something I liked about this book. The "mythology" is very original and interesting. I don't like books about the fae/fairies because they're always portrayed as beauties, this book did that, probably why I don't like this book. But, it honestly was very original. You can count on JLA for bringing this originality. She always has such cool, new, interesting concepts, but her stories always follow the same plot. Okay, not as positive as I thought it would be...