BAD PAST DECISIONS | ALICE IN ZOMBIELAND

My tastes in books have changed drastically over the years. I used to read mostly Romance-driven plots because they were entertaining, and I was relatively new to the book community: I didn't know there were better books out. One of my book resolutions for 2018 was to reread old books on my shelf and get rid of some. The second book on the chopping block is Alice in Zombieland. I remember loving this series because I thought it had an original concept and action-a.k.a the male protagonist was cute... After partially rereading the book, I will be discarding the whole series. I don't understand why I liked it.

The moment I started reading, I was cringing. The writing and the voice are juvenile and weak. I heard Elena's voice-you know the breathy, whiny, constipated, and frustrated voice? You can't help but picture it when you read it. It also had the most cliche beginning, "My name is Alice Bell. I didn't expect this to happen to me. I am forever changed. I can't tell you how; you'll have to be shown." Even middle school English students know not to start this way. That intro is the equivalent of "in this essay, I will..." This writing demonstrates a lack of skill, which is baffling because the author wrote a bunch of other books, so she should've honed her writing skills.

Because the voice is weak, you will be bored and skim pages of inner-dialogue/dialogue, which is forced, unrealistic, and has no flow. I have never encountered people with this brand of "witty-humor." It's not witty, it's trying too hard, and it's embarrassing. Most of the time, it's out of place and creates awkwardness. If this book is directed at a teenage demographic and includes teenaged characters, at least understand the demographic and portray it somewhat accurately, even for fiction. Also, I think it's imperative to make that aspect as realistic as possible because it will balance out the supernatural. What's the point of setting it in contemporary society if you fail to incorporate some sense of realism? Why not create a new world itself with the concept? JLA does a perfect job at balancing witty/playful banter and the supernatural in a contemporary backdrop. 

Plot: there isn't much of one. I was halfway through when I abandoned it, and nothing happened. It's mostly, "my family died, I'm sad, cute boy, kissing the cute boy, cute boy, I think I saw something, cute boy, zombies, fighting, cute boy." That's pretty much it. I spent money on a book that was mostly about a girl thinking about a boy; I could've googled "cute guys" and looked at them, instead of reading this. There are also unrealistic, unlikable, forgettable, and weak characters. Alpha-males and insta-love... The lore is haphazardly put together. 

That being said, would anyone like to take this series out of my hands?