Two Book Reviews: Strings of DNF

The First Book

The Chicken Chronicles: How Chickens Ruined My Reputation

Author: Jennifer Mervine

       Never before has the dark and twisted psychosis of the backyard chicken been revealed...until now.
       Forget everything you think you know about chickens. You only know part of the truth. No one speaks of their sexual deviance and dark unknowable rituals. Flock keepers have remained silent on chicken's potential to disrupt familial harmony through sleep deprivation, needy behavior, binge eating and random acts of violence.
       This tale is the recollection of one woman's desperate struggle to hold on to her family, her friends, and her very sanity after she stumbled into the trap of urban chicken keeping.

        The author contacted me to review this book. Her presentation of this book was really funny. I got a grasp of her humor and I had a desire to read this book. When I started this book, I thought it was a bit of a mish-mosh. The thoughts were scattered and everywhere. I imagined this person using a lot of hand gestures speaking loudly and quickly. This person is also ranting and going on a tangent. That's pretty much the description of the writing. I couldn't relate to the book. It talked about taxes, wages being cut, etc. I'm fourteen-I know this is shocking because I act incredibly childish for my age. I'm still in school and I don't know what adults have to go through. I don't focus on politics because Donald Trump is everywhere. Since I couldn't relate to this book, I became disinterested. This book has been added to my long list of DNFs.

Second Book

Soul Mate (Immortal Love #1) by Anna Santos

       Annabel is a bad-ass hybrid hunter, seeking revenge from the vampire who killed her parents and put her brother in a coma. Arriving in a new town with an undercover identity to protect and the mission to find a pureblood vampire to save her brother’s life, the last thing Annabel needs is to fall in love with the sexy, persistent werewolf who thinks she’s a helpless human in need of a knight in shining armor.
       Shane is a dominant werewolf who also happens to be the local sheriff. He has almost lost hope of finding his better half. So when his beautiful soul-mate shows up and rogue vampires try to kill her, he does what any smart wolf would do: he saves her and takes her home, hoping to convince her that they belong together.
       When sparks fly between them, Annabel has to decide if she tells him who she really is or runs the other way to protect her secrets.

        I couldn't find a picture on google without a promo on the cover.....
       Anyway, I was contacted to review this book too. You can see that review requests is one of the motifs of this post.
       I was REALLY excited for this book because the author said, "0 stupid alpha males and leading girls." I literally squealed. I started crying because someone made the impossible possible. But, some things are too good to be true. EVERYTHING DISAPPOINTS ME.
       The first scene takes place at a bar. No judgement there, unless you're a thirty/forty-something-year-old man drinking vodka with cranberry juice through a straw. 

       You think that's bad? Well let me weave a little story for you, dearie. By story, I mean summarizing what I read, which was really little.

       A man who has lived multiple human lives (I think, I don't remember shit because I was honestly physically repulsed) is at a bar. This bar is full of vampires and shifters, WHOOOHOOO! Then, THE GIRL walks in. The man is utterly transfixed and decides to imprint her. #twilight-reference. He promises himself that he'll make her panties drop, she'll be his and only his, and to get in her leather suit. Whonderfewl... The man isn't the only one feeling attraction. Did I forget to mention that both characters are Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

       Yeah...Gary Stu/Mary Sue and Insta-Love/Insta-Lust are the ban of my existence. What do you know! They both make an appearance. The moral compass' of these characters need a lot of fine tuning. If a girl leaves a bar, you do not follow her out, even if there are vampires that want to kill her. If the girl faints, you do not bring her to your house. You attraction is distracting you from doing your job. If you wake up in this random person's house, without your clothes on and don't remember a thing about last night, get your fucking ass out of there. Do not stay for breakfast. It was so unrealistic. If you're including romance, take the time to develop it and have a good, plausible background/foundation.